Dear Sophia,
I'm pretty sure I get to see you today! My appointment with the doctor is today and he usually does an ultrasound when I go in. We'll see how everything goes. I might update later. I just felt like I should say something because I haven't written anything recently. I don't really have much to report. I've been feeling icky: nauseated, sore, tired, dizzy, etc. We think I've just been having Braxton Hicks off and on but we'll see. I have a feeling you'll be coming early. Again, we'll see.
Sincerely,
Mommy.
*Later*
Dear Sophia,
You are beautiful. You were so cute at the appointment! You're starting to measure small now, but that was to be expected. Your little heartbeat was going ka-boink, ka boink, ka boink. It was such an adorable sound! On top of that, when he went up near your head, you were opening and closing your mouth like you were talking or making little baby noises. I love you so much sweetie. You sure warmed my heart this afternoon.
In other news, the doctor says I'm not close to going into preterm labor. My cervix can still feel the exam he did. Harumph. I guess that's good, though. We'll have you a little bit longer. He did say that it's likely that you'll be delivered early, but just not too very soon. I've been scheduled another month out with antibiotics for the next week just in case. Yay.
I can't wait to tell Daddy about what you were doing today. I feel like a proud mommy who is getting to see her baby do something for the first time. Of course, I was seeing your jaw bone move up and down, but I think it's just as good, considering the situation. Keep being cute, my little darling.
Sincerely,
Mommy.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Rough Night
Dear Sophia,
Mommy had a rough night, sweetheart. It's all feeling very real. For the last few days, I've been feeling strange. At one point, I had a very painful *something.* I laid down on the bed, and all-of-the-sudden my back and pelvis hurt like a really bad cramp. It lasted for about a minute, then was gone. Daddy and Grandma think it was a Braxton Hicks contraction. I've also been using the restroom a lot. It seems like just as I get comfortable, I need to go again. Blah. It's more difficult to get comfortable in bed, and while doing other things. I still feel you. It's not usually the large kicks like the one you gave Daddy, but I do feel you. It's hard to say if this is normal or not. I've never experienced anything like this before. I guess we'll see if anything significant is going on at my appointment in 5 days.
This weirdness is just making it all more real. I feel like things are coming sooner than I'm really ready for. Even before I knew you had Anencephaly, I was nervous about giving birth. Now, the experience includes handing you over before I even get to know what it's like to take care of you. I know this is the Lord's plan. I know it's because you're too perfect for this world. I also know trials are only trials because they test us - they make us take that step into the dark before we can see the light. No one said this would be easy. No one said I wouldn't break down every once in a while. It is significant that we weren't put on this world alone. We need each other, just like I needed Daddy to be willing to hold me close while I cried, keep asking what was wrong until I was willing to tell him, then give me a blessing of comfort.
I love you sweetie, and I'm happy for you. You must be such a sweet little girl to have this amazing opportunity. I look forward to getting to know you while we're in Heaven. Daddy and I are doing our best.
Sincerely,
Mommy.
Mommy had a rough night, sweetheart. It's all feeling very real. For the last few days, I've been feeling strange. At one point, I had a very painful *something.* I laid down on the bed, and all-of-the-sudden my back and pelvis hurt like a really bad cramp. It lasted for about a minute, then was gone. Daddy and Grandma think it was a Braxton Hicks contraction. I've also been using the restroom a lot. It seems like just as I get comfortable, I need to go again. Blah. It's more difficult to get comfortable in bed, and while doing other things. I still feel you. It's not usually the large kicks like the one you gave Daddy, but I do feel you. It's hard to say if this is normal or not. I've never experienced anything like this before. I guess we'll see if anything significant is going on at my appointment in 5 days.
This weirdness is just making it all more real. I feel like things are coming sooner than I'm really ready for. Even before I knew you had Anencephaly, I was nervous about giving birth. Now, the experience includes handing you over before I even get to know what it's like to take care of you. I know this is the Lord's plan. I know it's because you're too perfect for this world. I also know trials are only trials because they test us - they make us take that step into the dark before we can see the light. No one said this would be easy. No one said I wouldn't break down every once in a while. It is significant that we weren't put on this world alone. We need each other, just like I needed Daddy to be willing to hold me close while I cried, keep asking what was wrong until I was willing to tell him, then give me a blessing of comfort.
I love you sweetie, and I'm happy for you. You must be such a sweet little girl to have this amazing opportunity. I look forward to getting to know you while we're in Heaven. Daddy and I are doing our best.
Sincerely,
Mommy.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
"Who's child is she?"
Dear Sophia,
I was reading on another website, and I found a post I love. My favorite part is where she says
"He sent me more peace when I just thought of how "ironic" it is that He would choose ME to carry His child. She is not my child that He's taking - She is His and He chose me to give her to because He has been preparing me with a heart for life."
The post itself isn't much longer, but here's a link:
Baby Rachel's Legacy: Who's child is she?
She is so right, though. No child is wholly "ours." They ALL come from our Father in Heaven and we have been blessed with the trust to carry and (typically) eventually raise them or have the courage to carry them when all else says otherwise. We are all His children, all his family which has been sent here to Earth so we may be tested and tried. In the end, the ultimate goal is to be a whole, large family in the eternities. Nothing else matters - not the money we have, not our house, car, clothes. None of that "transfers" through into eternity. What does is our family, the connections we have made, and the lessons we have learned. Everything we have belongs to our Lord, from the blessing of having friends and family around us, down to every breath of breathable air and beat of your heart. It's important to always remember that as we are going through life.
It's very easy to forget the ultimate goal of being a family forever (including our brothers and sisters whom we aren't closely "related" to here on Earth) as we are going through the "hustle and bustle" of life. These little reminders are perfect, and right in line with the Lord's Plan of Happiness. He knows we aren't perfect and will often lose sight of what's important. A humble thank you to both Rachel and her mother. I needed this.
Sophia, I love you. You are a gift from our Lord and Savior. We are all His, including you, Daddy, and I, but you will always be a very dear part of our earthly family. You are such a sweet little reminder of the Lord's love and trust for Daddy and I. Again, thank you for coming.
Sincerely,
Mommy.
I was reading on another website, and I found a post I love. My favorite part is where she says
"He sent me more peace when I just thought of how "ironic" it is that He would choose ME to carry His child. She is not my child that He's taking - She is His and He chose me to give her to because He has been preparing me with a heart for life."
The post itself isn't much longer, but here's a link:
Baby Rachel's Legacy: Who's child is she?
She is so right, though. No child is wholly "ours." They ALL come from our Father in Heaven and we have been blessed with the trust to carry and (typically) eventually raise them or have the courage to carry them when all else says otherwise. We are all His children, all his family which has been sent here to Earth so we may be tested and tried. In the end, the ultimate goal is to be a whole, large family in the eternities. Nothing else matters - not the money we have, not our house, car, clothes. None of that "transfers" through into eternity. What does is our family, the connections we have made, and the lessons we have learned. Everything we have belongs to our Lord, from the blessing of having friends and family around us, down to every breath of breathable air and beat of your heart. It's important to always remember that as we are going through life.
It's very easy to forget the ultimate goal of being a family forever (including our brothers and sisters whom we aren't closely "related" to here on Earth) as we are going through the "hustle and bustle" of life. These little reminders are perfect, and right in line with the Lord's Plan of Happiness. He knows we aren't perfect and will often lose sight of what's important. A humble thank you to both Rachel and her mother. I needed this.
Sophia, I love you. You are a gift from our Lord and Savior. We are all His, including you, Daddy, and I, but you will always be a very dear part of our earthly family. You are such a sweet little reminder of the Lord's love and trust for Daddy and I. Again, thank you for coming.
Sincerely,
Mommy.
Funny Things Charles Says
Dear Sophia,
You know what Daddy is really good at? Making me laugh. I thought for this post I would record some of the funny things he's said. I'll record the date if I have it.
June 6, 2012:
Me to Charles: "What 'cha doing?"
Charles: "Posting to Twitter."
Me: "Since when do you use Twitter?"
Charles: "Since I found I could update it on my phone."
Me: "Don't you have to have an account to do that?"
Charles: "I didn't think so..."
*A few seconds pass - he gets a text back from Twitter*
Twitter: "Welcome to Twitter! Type (whatever it was) to start the sign-up process now!"
Me: >_<
June 1, 2012:
Finished massaging Charles's arms and he says:
"My arms feel like broccoli."
"Broccoli, huh?"
"Yeah, steamed broccoli. I can't control them."
"So, steamed broccoli is out of control?"
`"Sometimes, yes."
May 31, 2012:
Charles just got done telling me how this girl that was kissing him a couple minutes ago had a really long tongue. He'd be in a lot of trouble if she wasn't our dog who was licking his face.
May 27, 2012:
Charles looks over at me, smiles and says: "I'm in mad love with you."
I'm in mad love with you too, honey. ;)
May 1, 2012:
Things I often hear from my sweetheart, Charles:
"You're beautiful."
"I love you."
"You win."
"You were right."
November 27, 2011:
Charles: "I knew something was going on. I just didn't know what. That's why I took off my shoes!"
Me: "You mean null and void?"
Charles: "That too!"
Isn't he great? I love how he can make me laugh so easily. Most of the time he's not meaning to make me laugh, but I'll take what I can get. I sure do love him... or as he would say, I'm in "mad love" with him! We love you too, sweetie.
Sincerely,
Mommy.
You know what Daddy is really good at? Making me laugh. I thought for this post I would record some of the funny things he's said. I'll record the date if I have it.
June 6, 2012:
Me to Charles: "What 'cha doing?"
Charles: "Posting to Twitter."
Me: "Since when do you use Twitter?"
Charles: "Since I found I could update it on my phone."
Me: "Don't you have to have an account to do that?"
Charles: "I didn't think so..."
*A few seconds pass - he gets a text back from Twitter*
Twitter: "Welcome to Twitter! Type (whatever it was) to start the sign-up process now!"
Me: >_<
June 1, 2012:
Finished massaging Charles's arms and he says:
"My arms feel like broccoli."
"Broccoli, huh?"
"Yeah, steamed broccoli. I can't control them."
"So, steamed broccoli is out of control?"
`"Sometimes, yes."
May 31, 2012:
Charles just got done telling me how this girl that was kissing him a couple minutes ago had a really long tongue. He'd be in a lot of trouble if she wasn't our dog who was licking his face.
May 27, 2012:
Charles looks over at me, smiles and says: "I'm in mad love with you."
I'm in mad love with you too, honey. ;)
May 1, 2012:
Things I often hear from my sweetheart, Charles:
"You're beautiful."
"I love you."
"You win."
"You were right."
March 17, 2012:
Charles (to our cat, Stella): "You're fired. F-I-R-E-D-D-D-D, apostrophe a million times... I mean exclamation point!"
March 11, 2012:
Me: "Why is your shoulder so comfy?"
Charles: "I give it daily shots of cotton."
November 27, 2011:
Charles: "I knew something was going on. I just didn't know what. That's why I took off my shoes!"
November-ish:
Charles: "It is null and... not gonna happen!"Me: "You mean null and void?"
Charles: "That too!"
Isn't he great? I love how he can make me laugh so easily. Most of the time he's not meaning to make me laugh, but I'll take what I can get. I sure do love him... or as he would say, I'm in "mad love" with him! We love you too, sweetie.
Sincerely,
Mommy.
Monday, June 4, 2012
Feeling Sentimental - The Story of Us
Dear Sophia,
I was thinking of the day I met Daddy in person. I'll start from the beginning. One day while I was at school, I was "doing homework" (a.k.a. bumming around Facebook) and I noticed an ad for an LDS singles site called LDSPlanet.com. I checked it out, and ended up signing up for a subscription. Not much came from it while I was at school, but about two months later while I was on Summer break, I received a flirt from another member: "You're beautiful!" When I found it, he happened to be online and I initiated a chat. At the time, he seemed very glum. I had decided that all he needed was a friend, not more than that. The next day, I was on again at the same time he was and we ended up chatting some more. At one point, he said he wasn't big on the whole computer thing so I said he should find something to do. To my surprise, he said he couldn't - what he wanted to do wouldn't work. When I asked him to elaborate, he said he'd really like to take me on a date, maybe a picnic because the weather was nice outside. I thought that was sweet of him, but, as he pointed out, he was pretty sure there was no way he could because I was in Idaho and he was in Iowa.
Thing is, I was actually in Missouri at the time - three hours one way by car. When I told him, he was shocked. We ended up speaking on the phone... for hours and hours. After a few hours on the phone, we already knew we got along very well. At one point, he asked, "What would you say if I asked you to marry me?" My response, after a few moments of silence, was "Tentatively... yes." That was August 18, 2011. By August 20, 2011, he heard me say "Yes." During this time, we were both praying to know that it was right for us to get involved with each other and all we felt was great. On August 21, 2011 he asked how I would feel about him buying me a bus ticket to go and meet him in person. I was ecstatic. That whole week, we talked every minute we could - we couldn't get enough of each other!
On August 26, 2011, a co-worker graciously gave me a ride to the bus station. Due to a misunderstanding over where and when I was supposed to pick up my ticket and itinerary, I ended up without my ticket. I was very emotional. At the bus station, there was a phone number to call. The first person I spoke to told me I'd have to buy another ticket over the phone because I couldn't use the first one. Thankfully, my co-worker was willing to wait with me while I figured things out and called a different, more knowledgeable customer service person who helped me to find out how I could use the ticket Charles had paid for. Ultimately, though, I ended up without much information and I wasn't aware I was supposed to take the bus heading to Kansas City, MO. When I found out, I was devastated. However, with the help of a very nice security guard and my mother, we realized my itinerary included a four-hour layover in KCMO and, as long as I could get there before the bus left, I could pick up at that point in my itinerary.
Because my mother is awesome, she drove all the way to St. Joseph from Cameron to pick me (and a man I'd met who was heading to Wyoming) up and take us to KCMO. The bus station was a little... interesting but I stayed in contact with Charles the whole time. I was SO exhausted it's not even funny. I had worked all day, waited at the bus station for many hours, been in the car for about an hour, then had to wait at the bus station for the bus to arrive (late.) At one point I had to keep standing up so I wouldn't fall asleep.
Finally, the bus arrived and I got on. I was so relieved. I told Charles I was going to try to sleep on the bus and I would see him soon. Ahh! I was so excited. My sleep was not great - I kept waking up and at every bus stop I was anxious about making sure I was always on the right bus in the right place.
After what seemed like forever, I woke up surrounded by Iowa State University. The last text I got from Charles was "Are you in a big bus?" I didn't answer. My heart was fluttering as I watched the tall, anxious man waiting on the sidewalk at the bus stop. I could tell he was trying to look through the windows to see me, but they were tinted. I grabbed my belongings, headed to the front of the bus, then climbed down the steps. Charles didn't have to ask if it was me - our eyes locked as soon as he could see me. I grabbed my other bag from underneath the bus then went right over to him, shaking like a leaf the whole time. Our first kiss happened there, at that bus stop, and the rest is history.
It's weird now to think about a time when Charles wasn't a part of my life. It's just so natural to be with him - and so weird to be without him that when I'm out with anyone else, I say things only he would get and put myself in awkward situations. I can't even tell you how many people I've come close to kissing as a show of appreciation or love. Oops!
Anyway, Sophia, that's how it happened - and now we have you on the way. We love you sweetie. We are so grateful for the opportunity to have you in our lives, if only for a short while. Just know that you are a product of love - love for each other, from our Heavenly Father, and for you. Thank you for coming.
Sincerely,
Mommy.
I was thinking of the day I met Daddy in person. I'll start from the beginning. One day while I was at school, I was "doing homework" (a.k.a. bumming around Facebook) and I noticed an ad for an LDS singles site called LDSPlanet.com. I checked it out, and ended up signing up for a subscription. Not much came from it while I was at school, but about two months later while I was on Summer break, I received a flirt from another member: "You're beautiful!" When I found it, he happened to be online and I initiated a chat. At the time, he seemed very glum. I had decided that all he needed was a friend, not more than that. The next day, I was on again at the same time he was and we ended up chatting some more. At one point, he said he wasn't big on the whole computer thing so I said he should find something to do. To my surprise, he said he couldn't - what he wanted to do wouldn't work. When I asked him to elaborate, he said he'd really like to take me on a date, maybe a picnic because the weather was nice outside. I thought that was sweet of him, but, as he pointed out, he was pretty sure there was no way he could because I was in Idaho and he was in Iowa.
Thing is, I was actually in Missouri at the time - three hours one way by car. When I told him, he was shocked. We ended up speaking on the phone... for hours and hours. After a few hours on the phone, we already knew we got along very well. At one point, he asked, "What would you say if I asked you to marry me?" My response, after a few moments of silence, was "Tentatively... yes." That was August 18, 2011. By August 20, 2011, he heard me say "Yes." During this time, we were both praying to know that it was right for us to get involved with each other and all we felt was great. On August 21, 2011 he asked how I would feel about him buying me a bus ticket to go and meet him in person. I was ecstatic. That whole week, we talked every minute we could - we couldn't get enough of each other!
On August 26, 2011, a co-worker graciously gave me a ride to the bus station. Due to a misunderstanding over where and when I was supposed to pick up my ticket and itinerary, I ended up without my ticket. I was very emotional. At the bus station, there was a phone number to call. The first person I spoke to told me I'd have to buy another ticket over the phone because I couldn't use the first one. Thankfully, my co-worker was willing to wait with me while I figured things out and called a different, more knowledgeable customer service person who helped me to find out how I could use the ticket Charles had paid for. Ultimately, though, I ended up without much information and I wasn't aware I was supposed to take the bus heading to Kansas City, MO. When I found out, I was devastated. However, with the help of a very nice security guard and my mother, we realized my itinerary included a four-hour layover in KCMO and, as long as I could get there before the bus left, I could pick up at that point in my itinerary.
Because my mother is awesome, she drove all the way to St. Joseph from Cameron to pick me (and a man I'd met who was heading to Wyoming) up and take us to KCMO. The bus station was a little... interesting but I stayed in contact with Charles the whole time. I was SO exhausted it's not even funny. I had worked all day, waited at the bus station for many hours, been in the car for about an hour, then had to wait at the bus station for the bus to arrive (late.) At one point I had to keep standing up so I wouldn't fall asleep.
Finally, the bus arrived and I got on. I was so relieved. I told Charles I was going to try to sleep on the bus and I would see him soon. Ahh! I was so excited. My sleep was not great - I kept waking up and at every bus stop I was anxious about making sure I was always on the right bus in the right place.
After what seemed like forever, I woke up surrounded by Iowa State University. The last text I got from Charles was "Are you in a big bus?" I didn't answer. My heart was fluttering as I watched the tall, anxious man waiting on the sidewalk at the bus stop. I could tell he was trying to look through the windows to see me, but they were tinted. I grabbed my belongings, headed to the front of the bus, then climbed down the steps. Charles didn't have to ask if it was me - our eyes locked as soon as he could see me. I grabbed my other bag from underneath the bus then went right over to him, shaking like a leaf the whole time. Our first kiss happened there, at that bus stop, and the rest is history.
It's weird now to think about a time when Charles wasn't a part of my life. It's just so natural to be with him - and so weird to be without him that when I'm out with anyone else, I say things only he would get and put myself in awkward situations. I can't even tell you how many people I've come close to kissing as a show of appreciation or love. Oops!
Anyway, Sophia, that's how it happened - and now we have you on the way. We love you sweetie. We are so grateful for the opportunity to have you in our lives, if only for a short while. Just know that you are a product of love - love for each other, from our Heavenly Father, and for you. Thank you for coming.
Sincerely,
Mommy.
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Questions
Dear Sophia,
Today was interesting. Went to Sacrament, came home to sleep because I felt awful, woke up and had dinner with a bunch of family members, went swimming. Still feeling off. Honey, are you coming early? I have an appointment with my obstetrician in 9 days. I guess we'll see. I'm a little undecided on how I feel about losing you this early...
Sincerely,
Mommy.
Today was interesting. Went to Sacrament, came home to sleep because I felt awful, woke up and had dinner with a bunch of family members, went swimming. Still feeling off. Honey, are you coming early? I have an appointment with my obstetrician in 9 days. I guess we'll see. I'm a little undecided on how I feel about losing you this early...
Sincerely,
Mommy.
Friday, June 1, 2012
Stories to Tell
Dear Sophia,
I guess birth defects are just one of those things you don't think about in the course of your normal life - until you encounter one either through your own experiences or through the experiences of those close to you. I remember during high school I had been around a family which I was aware had experienced a child's early death. I recall having seen photos of them in the graveyard, but I didn't know much more than that... until you came along. Until you came along, I never really had any "real-life" situation to talk about. I guess you could even say I didn't feel like I belonged with the "women." But you, Sophia - you have made me a woman. Of course I was a "woman" before you came along. I was barely 20 when I married Daddy, and I'm still only 20, but Daddy married a woman. Before you came along, I didn't feel like I belonged in my Relief Society at church. I was just a young woman in a room with many older, more experienced women who know what it's like to be mothers, to live through many decades of a lifetime. I couldn't relate. But now, sweetie, I'm starting to know what it's like. By no means am I anywhere close to their levels of experience, but at least I feel like I belong.
I've also realized that everyone has a story to tell. It seems like those who care enough to stop and talk to me about you and how I'm doing went through something traumatic or knew someone who went through something traumatic. A few weeks ago, this couple I'd never spoken with ended up letting me spill my guts to them for a good 40 minutes. It felt so good and I feel a closeness to them now. Then a couple other women have let me in on their own experiences. One of them went through something I would never have considered: her daughter survived (and is now a teenager) but had to spend a considerable amount of time in the hospital while they worked out how they were going to keep her insides inside of her. She'd been born without skin covering her abdomen. Scary!
I guess it's better not to know about all of these possibilities. The only reason I know anything about Anencephaly is because of you. I can't imagine having all the horrible things which can happen to little babies floating around in my mind. I know I have only been exposed to a tiny fraction of what could and does happen. It would be like reading a medical dictionary and thinking there was always something wrong with you. I would go crazy!
A woman I've recently become acquainted with found out she is pregnant today. Her previous baby, who is also named Sophia Grace, had Anencephaly too and another related condition called Iniencephaly. It has been interesting reading her thoughts before and after having her Sophia and even now as she prepares to go through another pregnancy. I know I will be just as nervous as she is. Sophia, you know the love we have for you. You will always be the first child in our little family. It will just be nice if and when we get to care for one of your siblings, tell them all about you, and teach them that you are (or will be, at that point - right now, you're kicking me) in Heaven with our Heavenly Father and our Elder Brother, Jesus Christ. What a sweet conversation that will be!
Like I said, sweetie, everyone has a story. You are and will continue to be mine (and Daddy's, of course - that's part of what makes you special.) You are my first child, my first daughter, the first spirit the Lord has entrusted me with carrying. You are also perfect enough to be qualified to return to be with the Lord almost before your journey has begun. I love you honey. It's comforting to know that you already knew of my love before you came here. Believe me, it will only grow and grow. Thank you for coming to us, even if we will have to wait to get to know you. You have truly been a blessing.
Sincerely,
Mommy.
I guess birth defects are just one of those things you don't think about in the course of your normal life - until you encounter one either through your own experiences or through the experiences of those close to you. I remember during high school I had been around a family which I was aware had experienced a child's early death. I recall having seen photos of them in the graveyard, but I didn't know much more than that... until you came along. Until you came along, I never really had any "real-life" situation to talk about. I guess you could even say I didn't feel like I belonged with the "women." But you, Sophia - you have made me a woman. Of course I was a "woman" before you came along. I was barely 20 when I married Daddy, and I'm still only 20, but Daddy married a woman. Before you came along, I didn't feel like I belonged in my Relief Society at church. I was just a young woman in a room with many older, more experienced women who know what it's like to be mothers, to live through many decades of a lifetime. I couldn't relate. But now, sweetie, I'm starting to know what it's like. By no means am I anywhere close to their levels of experience, but at least I feel like I belong.
I've also realized that everyone has a story to tell. It seems like those who care enough to stop and talk to me about you and how I'm doing went through something traumatic or knew someone who went through something traumatic. A few weeks ago, this couple I'd never spoken with ended up letting me spill my guts to them for a good 40 minutes. It felt so good and I feel a closeness to them now. Then a couple other women have let me in on their own experiences. One of them went through something I would never have considered: her daughter survived (and is now a teenager) but had to spend a considerable amount of time in the hospital while they worked out how they were going to keep her insides inside of her. She'd been born without skin covering her abdomen. Scary!
I guess it's better not to know about all of these possibilities. The only reason I know anything about Anencephaly is because of you. I can't imagine having all the horrible things which can happen to little babies floating around in my mind. I know I have only been exposed to a tiny fraction of what could and does happen. It would be like reading a medical dictionary and thinking there was always something wrong with you. I would go crazy!
A woman I've recently become acquainted with found out she is pregnant today. Her previous baby, who is also named Sophia Grace, had Anencephaly too and another related condition called Iniencephaly. It has been interesting reading her thoughts before and after having her Sophia and even now as she prepares to go through another pregnancy. I know I will be just as nervous as she is. Sophia, you know the love we have for you. You will always be the first child in our little family. It will just be nice if and when we get to care for one of your siblings, tell them all about you, and teach them that you are (or will be, at that point - right now, you're kicking me) in Heaven with our Heavenly Father and our Elder Brother, Jesus Christ. What a sweet conversation that will be!
Like I said, sweetie, everyone has a story. You are and will continue to be mine (and Daddy's, of course - that's part of what makes you special.) You are my first child, my first daughter, the first spirit the Lord has entrusted me with carrying. You are also perfect enough to be qualified to return to be with the Lord almost before your journey has begun. I love you honey. It's comforting to know that you already knew of my love before you came here. Believe me, it will only grow and grow. Thank you for coming to us, even if we will have to wait to get to know you. You have truly been a blessing.
Sincerely,
Mommy.
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