Thursday, September 19, 2013

One Year

Dear Sophia,

I'm sorry I haven't written in a while. I haven't really known what to write about. However, just as this blog is being posted, we have survived one year since your miraculous birth. One year since I really became a mother for the first time. One year since I held your beautiful, tiny self in my arms as your daddy blessed you and gave you a name for the records of the Church. I was in awe that day, and so unsure of the future... but as long as I had you then, I was content.

So what's going on with your mommy and daddy now? Well, we're expecting your little brother or sister! But I'm sure you knew that already. I'm 14 weeks, 6 days along. When we found out, we initially thought it would be fun to announce the pregnancy on your birthday. Things didn't quite go that way, though. We were too excited to share the good news! You know what else? We've already gotten a glimpse of his or her full head!

We'll be a little more at ease after getting the AFP screening done, but we have hope that everything will be well. A few days ago, I was texting a friend and the pregnancy came up. I mentioned how I was anxious to make certain this baby would survive, and my friend said something very thoughtful: "My mother won't let that happen." Her mother, a very sweet, kind, encouraging woman, passed away several months ago. I know she would have been so excited to welcome your sibling into the world, as she was always very interested with you and how we were doing. It's nice to think she would be looking over our little one on the way.

I've been a lot sicker with this pregnancy, sweetheart, which gives me a whole new appreciation for the relative ease I had with you. Though we traveled on an emotional roller coaster, had the usual aches and pains, and the last few weeks were slightly more taxing, most of the pregnancy was not physically strenuous. For that - I realize now - I am very grateful.

It's time for your mommy and daddy to go to bed now, but I want you to know we still love you and think about you. Every time someone says something about their baby cutting their first tooth, starting to walk, or hitting some other milestone you might be hitting around that time, I think of you. I think of what we might be experiencing with you had you been able to stay here with us. Please keep close, my darling girl. Your little family loves you and is eagerly anticipating seeing you again.